I Got Kicked out of Aruba

Yep. I got kicked out of Aruba... and boy was it a trip.

I had to apply for an extension till April 16 since my original plan was to leave on April 10. Somewhere in that process [I hesitate to give the details in this forum], I was "asked" to leave the country until some "things" get straightened out with my visa. After some negotiations on my behalf [i don't really know who did what to whom with which or where], it was decided that if I leave the country and come back in, I can sort of reset the clock by re-submitting my immigration papers on entry. So I went to the next island...Curacao [koo-rah-sow, like a girl pig] for the day and came back that evening.

The trip was an experience. For most of the day I sat in an outdoor coffee shop in the hotel district and read a book. I walked around a little and took a few pictures [nothing worth showing].

But the highlight was when I went to a casino. It was a DIVE. It reminded me of one of the casinos in the Chevy Chase movie, Las Vegas Vacation, where they were betting on all kinds of things like Rock, Paper, Scissors and things like that. The security guy [this is no joke] wore and old plaid western shirt with the word "SECURITY" on the back with misaligned iron-on letters. The felt on the blackjack tables was completely worn thru where the dealer plays. There were only 4 tables counting the single roulette wheel. The bathroom was so small that you had to turn sideways to get past the sink and urinals.

When it opened at 10 a.m., there were about 20 locals waiting at the door to play the slots. The whole thing reminded me of one of those semi-legal 8-liner "game rooms" in Alvin.

Any way, at about 3:30, I grabbed a taxi to get to the airport. It was an old mini-van that hadn't been vaccumed or cleaned up in years, and there was no headliner and. Now get this...I sat in the second row seats that had two captain's chairs. When we went around the first corner, the seat tipped because it wasn't bolted down!! So I moved to the next seat and it didn't have a seat belt and was loose but at least bolted down. On top of that, the van kept dying on us. He must have restarted that thing half a dozen times while driving about 70 around blind curves. But we got to the airport.

When I checked in, they said we would leave at "about" 5:00 from gate 6 or 7. Kinda loose arrangements. At about 4:15 I hear this loud announcement paging "Des-hom Ramon" or something like that to report to Gate 8. Didn't pay much attention. Heard that announcement 3 more times. However, when they said "Last call..." I heard them mention my flight number and "Aruba". It suddenly occured to me that they saying my name, only backwards [my passport uses my real first name-"Raymond"]. I jumped up and showed 'em my passport and they said to hurry because "the plane is going to leave without you." No, no, no, no, no!!!

So I get escorted across the tarmac to the plane [a 17-seat prop number] for the 20 minute flight back to Aruba. That morning, coming over, there were only 3 people on that plane. Going back, I'm number 17...it was packed...literally. It was full of huge Aruban guys who actually spilled over into both sides of the aisle because the seats were so small.

Right before we start to taxi, the co-pilot turns around in his seat to give the announcements. It goes like this "Life preservers are under seats, emergency exits over wings. Okay? We go, now."

They didn't turn on the air conditioning until after the take off because we were so loaded they needed the power. But first, we had to wait on the tarmac for about 30 minutes. Let me just say that the air in that plane was plenty thick and damp by the time we got to 2000 ft.

The flight was uneventful, thankfully, until we started to land. The plane was just getting hammered by cross-winds and was really jostling us around [at least those seats were bolted down]. All of a sudden, the biggest guy on the plane [and that's saying something] starts freaking out and tries to get up...to go somewhere...not sure where!! His buddies get him to sit down just in time to hear a LOUD alarm from the cockpit. I could see thru the windshield that we were about on the ground so I figured it was gonna be okay. Never did find out what the alarm was because it stopped by the time we stopped rolling. I'm thinking fuel...

To top all that off, I get to my car and it won't start...dead as a hammer. Fortunately, I'm parked right outside the Budget kiosk so I go inside and get a new car. In my haste, I forgot to get my parking ticket out of the old one so I can't get out of the parking lot.

Now here's the deal...THEY TOLD ME THE CODE TO PUNCH IN TO GET THE ARM TO COME UP. I'm going to share it with you so that any time you're in the Aruba Airport parking lot all you have to do is punch in 2354 at the exit. Then you can get free parking!!! Don't bother to thank me. I'm just paying it forward.

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