A Thunderstorm, Whiskey at the Grocery Store, and Island Politics

Woke up yesterday morning and there was a real thunder and lightning rain storm going on! I didn't know they did that here. With the normal 25 mph wind that is always blowing, it was raining sideways. I went into town and by the time I got there, the rain had stopped. It probably rained about 1/2-inch...but there was water in the streets at low spots that was 3 or 4 inches deep! The problem is that they don't have storm sewers here so water just runs down the street in torrents until it finds a low spot (mostly parking lots). Sometimes the low spot is in the street.

I got to Burger King (I habitually get coffee there on weekend mornings) and as soon as I parked some drunk guy started tapping on my window with a half empty beer (it's about 9 a.m.). He wanted to wash my car so I gave him a couple of florin to get out of my way. When I got out of the car I noticed the only people I could see was 3 or 4 town drunks. Then it occurred to me that everyone else had gotten in out of the rain so the only people left outside were the gung ho beer drinkers.

Speaking of drinking, I went to the big "wesern-style" grocery store (i.e. one that doesn't stink and has meat without flies) and at the entrance there was a big Heineken display where they were showing off their new mini-keg and the $350 cooler that goes with it...they were giving away free cups of beer and had quite a crowd, mostly tourists. So I maneuver thru all that and look up and see another crowd...only bigger. Some wine company was giving away free glasses of wine. Just past that crowd was a BIG crowd that was having a party. Johnnie Walker was giving away FREE SHOTS OF SCOTCH WHISKEY in the grocery store. That's unfathomable to me. They just do things differently here, but I couldn't help but think that unless some taxis line up outside, the trip down Highway 1 is going to be a little iffy on the way home for these folks and a few thousand other people.

This morning (Sunday) I went to the flea market. Remember the Hwy 1 is the main road from one end of the island to the other. It can be compared to any county road in Texas as far as width and maintenance (more on that later) are concerned. Something else I need to say is that the national (is there anything else here?) elections are coming next month and these people take their politics seriously.

There are three parties from what I can tell and each one has its own color...the MEP is yellow, the AMP is green, and the red party is something else that I can't remember. People wear those colors this time of year to signify the which party they align with...and it's serious. Last week, I was with some Arubans at a nice restaurant and the Minister of Health (he appeared to be swine flu-free) came in with a couple of American doctors, I found out later. He sort of worked the crowd but only shook hands with people dressed in yellow...his party colors. The MEP is in power now and since it's election time, they are putting down new asphalt from one end to the other.

Anyway, there is a big political rally in a parking lot along Hwy 1 by MEP (I don't know what any of the acronyms mean) and they are selling raffle tickets and giving away t-shirts. So everything stops there while people in cars buy tickets and collect t-shirts from their cars in the middle of the highway. (They wouldn't give me a t-shirt because I'm obviously not Aruban). Took me about 30 minutes to drive about 1/4 mile thru that thing. Then about a mile down the highway, they have the same thing going on for people on the other side of the highway...meaning I have to get thru that on the way home.

Sure enough, on the way home I get to the other MEP rally and I notice that there is a motorcade of about 15 cars with yellow flags and banners pulling out onto the highway. I fall in about 2 cars behind them. Down the highway a few miles, I see an AMP motorcade coming the other way with green flags flying. I didn't pay much attention until the two motorcades met going in opposite directions. Literally, everyone in each motorcade rolled down their windows and started using hand signals to express to the people in the other motorcade that their party of choice was, well..."number one" in that truly international middle-fingered hand gesture. I was laughing so hard at this that I had to slam on my brakes at one point to keep from running over the car in front of me.

I just love these people...

OUT

oops...confession time!!! i have passed this combination Little Caesar's/Baskin Robbins store a million times, but yesterday I noticed that it was also a DUNKIN DONUTS!!! The only problem is that with the language issues I think I got a pepperoni filled donut and some kind of sherbet in my coffee...but it was Dunkin Donuts coffee!! My confession is that I have eaten 8 donuts already this weekend.

OUT again

This Place Still Strikes Me as Odd

• My short timeframe here has forced us to work longer hours. The guys have figured out that if they martyr themselves and act like they don't have time to eat lunch that I'll go to my bungelow and make lunch for everyone and bring it back. At least that's the way it has been working for most of this week. My only problem is that I don't have a cost center to charge my cooking time to.
• Medical care here is pretty sketchy. Last time I was here, a guy down the hall had a stroke in his office. It was so bad that he couldn't talk before they got him out of his office. They took him to the hospital and the next day they sent him home with baby aspirin!!! That seems bad enuff, but something happened yesterday that I still don't believe. One of the new operators who is in class down the hall [those guys have been in 'school' here since February] came to work with a little bit of a limp. We asked him what was up and he said he had a sore toe from an ingrown toenail. I took him to the first aid clinic here in the refinery so he could get some Motrin and the 'sorta EMT' took a look at his toe. Next thing we know, this dude [and he isn't even trained to EMT status] grabs a can of liquid nitrogen and sprays the toe for a while with the nitrogen. Then he breaks out a scalpel [or it could have been an exacto knife] and cuts around the toenail and then pulls it out with some forceps. Meanwhile, my guy is just watching him cut his toe up like there was nothing going on!!! I was [still am] horrified!! Where did first aid boy learn that trick? How can they get away with that? The answer...socialized O'bama-style medicine. Both guys said that a doctor here would do the same thing but it would be a week or so before he could get in! I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if you went to that first aid station with a toothache or constipation.
• Got some bad news from the other end of the island. The Marriott luxury high rise laid off 200 people Wednesday. With the refinery in jeopardy, tourism is all they got. People are getting a little morose.
• OH...I think my giant iguana is back [the one jumped out of my garbage can a couple of months ago in the dark]! This morning there were some huge tracks in the sand just outside my gate by the car. The tracks are pretty obvious. The feet overlap each other on each side and the tail makes a groove between the foot prints. These feet are about as big as a chicken foot and they're about a foot apart. Can't wait to walk up on this guy in the dark again. I'm guessing his head would be close to softball size.

Of course it could just be a chicken...

OUT

It's Just Work

Things have been mighty quiet...exactly 180 degrees from where we were the last time I was here. That was a long 4 weeks. People here have told me that I look a lot better now than I did when I left last month. Plus, when I picked up the boss at the airport in week 3 of my last visit, he commented that I looked haggard. But, I thought I was doing just fine. The fact that I burst into tears like a girl when Paula picked me up at the airport with a backseat full of daughters and my grandson notwithstanding. Lets just say I had the best Father's Day [the next day] that I can remember.

Swine flu is a BIG deal here. They've had 35 cases develop in 6 days. That's 35 people out of 90,000 or about 50 or 60 times the infection rate that we have in the US! Not many swine flu jokes around here any more. They're taking it pretty seriously, now.

Went to lunch today and had a mushroom and escargot soup and a conch salad [basically a Caesar salad with some grilled conch on it]. It was all, remarkably enough, pretty good...but it still needed salt. They just don't get it. Salt is a flavor enhancer...it makes food taste better and 'brighter' [but if you can taste the salt, you have too much].

The people here in the refinery have taken a resolute attitude to the condition they're in. The conventional wisdom is that Valero is not going to start it up but will leave it down until they sell it. That is bad news. It could take months or even as long as a year to sell. There is a lot of concern that PetroChina will buy it. Everyone knows that those guys aren't particularly interested in safety, training, and investing back into a place for maintenance. They believe the place will deteriorate quickly [and I agree] if PetroChina takes over. It's not exactly a picture of health at this point.

My only concern is that I may not get anything ont his trip for my "As the Refinery Burns" screenplay that I'm determined to write. Think I'll stir something up tomorrow.

OUT

Here I is...

Got up this morning about 3 a.m. to get to the airport by 4. The only problem with that was that the TSA people didn't show up to clear anyone thru until almost 5 a.m. Huge line at the airport. My flight was at 5:30 but I got there in plenty of time...and I think I'm gonna kill our travel agent. He did the right thing, I guess, by getting the best fare available, but because it was so low, I couldn't upgrade to 1st class. They had 6 empty seats in 1st class and wouldn't sell me one. Somebody tell me the logic behind that. I'm gonna tell the agent to make sure we pay enuff for the ticket so I can upgrade [uh...where's the logic in that?...D-OH!!]

We landed at 2 o'clock and I went to the grocery store to get some food. I am AMAZED at the price increases. I buy some of the same things every time I come here and some of the prices have gone up as much as 50%. Everything is a lot higher. Don't know what that's about but it was a bigtime subject at the checkout lines. Haven't checked the price of gas yet. Last time it calculated to about $4.50/gallon. I don't know where all this inflation came from.

Got to my house about 5 p.m. and my day is catching up with me. I didn't get much sleep on the plane and didn't really sleep much last night. Didn't even get to bed till after 11 p.m. Time to man up, I guess...or just crash. Now there's an option.

BTW...they only say it's hot here. It's 85 degrees with a constant 20 mph wind. That's the way it is all the time...24/7/365.

Big day tomorrow...

Out

ADDENDUM...
I forgot to mention that everything on the island is on a cash basis. Something has happened to the credit card/ATM network and no one can use credit cards, debit cards, or ATMs. I hope it doesn't last long because I don't normally bring a lot of cash with me. I live off of ATMs and the company AMEX

Back to the Rock

Headed back to Aruba Monday. But, I'm only there for two weeks this time...alledgedly. I originally thought this was going to be my last trip but if the refinery actually re-starts and we continue with our other work there, I'm going to be stuck in Aruba until it's all over. D-OH!!!

Like I said before, I really don't expect the current owner to ever re-start that relic, but someone will...eventually. And if I play my cards right, I won't have to go back until mid-September at the earliest. But...enuff of that.

Uh...I don't know how the planets are lined up but something has happened today that proves there is some kind of mis-alignment. I have to come clean with this...

Today I agreed with something Nancy Pelosi did. That cold wind you feel blowing up the back of your neck is just the remnants of the cosmic wind that makes things happen like me agreeing with Herr-ess Pelosi. Here's what happened...today she stopped a resolution in Congress to honor Michael Jackson. What is the world coming to?

I don't know if I'm disturbed by the fact that some member of Congress [i.e. Shiela Jackson Lee (D-Houston)] actually brought that resolution to the floor of the Congress or that I am aligned with Nancy Pelosi, if for only a few minutes! You decide...

Meanwhile, I'm going to Aruba.

OUT

...aaahhhh...home at last...

It has been brought to my attention that I ran out of Aruba so quickly that I haven’t updated the blog. I ‘escaped’ Saturday morning in spite of all the hysteria about my leaving…but it got to the point where I actually had to stand firm and tell my boss and the client that my departure on Saturday morning was absolutely, positively not negotiable. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

For some reason, I figured that when the boss got to Aruba things would smooth out and some of the distractions would go away. Actually, it was just the opposite. We wound up sharing my office and all the issues he was working on (and even some issues from other projects around the company) just came pouring into my bubble. On top of that, the union decided they were going to ‘audit’ our work and started ‘lawyering’ every word we have written or presented or spoken.

Then the two guys that I was spending a great deal of time training to be trainers ‘spit the bit’ Thursday afternoon. They just walked in to their boss’s office and told her they weren’t ready for presenting the classes that were scheduled for this week. Over the past two weeks, as we worked on getting them up to speed, they assured me that everything was fine and that we were on track and would be ready to do the training beginning on June 23. The truth was that they didn’t want to do it at all. The plan had been all along to say they weren’t ready at the last minute with the idea that I would stay and teach their classes. They had no regard for the damage it would do to our company or me personally. Either they didn’t care or were too dense to ‘get it’.

Great panic ensued throughout the land when those guys started whining. I was in a ringer trying to cover my ass and not throw rocks directly at them. So now we had to call their bluff and work out a plan to fill the gaps. I forced them to tell us what part of the process they needed ‘help’ on and then showed them where they signed the training plan stating that they were trained in that area and understood what they were seeing. That didn’t do much good, believe it or not…other than the fact that their boss told them that if they failed they would be fired.

It was at that time that they asked me to stay. But since my 30-day clock was almost run out, I would have had to fly to another country and re-enter Aruba to restart my clock. I just flat out refused. So far this year, I have missed every holiday and family birthday and I wasn’t going to miss Father’s Day. Then the plan was for me to go home for the weekend and come back on Monday. Later on, though, cooler heads prevailed and I am returning on July 13 for a couple of weeks.

Oh…and those mangy cunucu dogs did just fine teaching their classes.

BTW…the boss is a terrible roommate. He doesn’t sleep. One night our agent in the Middle East called about midnight to tell us we have been awarded a contract over there [a 3-year project]. So the boss and me were up the rest of the night trying to figure out how we're going to ramp that project up with 11 people by the end of the year. The main reason I participated was so that I wouldn’t wind up over there living off of camel (the guy we sent to Algeria a couple of weeks ago wound up living off of camel and monkey). It appears that I'm going to move to a project in Utah at the end of the summer. One that won’t take so much travel.

Any way, I have been privy to some pretty blatant, high level corruption here that my naiveté would not let me believe 3 months ago. I really don’t know how they run this place. This bunch of keystone cops can't use computers, can't 'read' a spreadsheet, and get in a panic when a consultant leaves (I’ve checked it out with other consultants…they see the same thing when they get ready to leave…meaning, it ain’t just me).

As my departure date closed in, people started coming in to my office and saying 'we need to go do this before you leave'...yada, yada, yada. Meanwhile, I'm just giving them my best dumb blonde look. If they need me to come back, I'll do that on a separate purchase order against a different project. Every dollar and every hour that I have left in my budget is already spoken for about twice and there is no more milk in the cow.

But let’s not forget that they are shutting this refinery down in a few days until the economy improves. I have my doubts that Valero will ever start it back up. My guess is that someone like Petrobraz (Brazil) or PetroChina (China) or Ecopetrol (Colombia) will buy the place cheap and bring it up…later in the year. Or the government will nationalize it and hire a company to come in and manage it until Valero can sell it.

I’m so glad to be home I can’t stand it. I think I'm going to talk a friend into getting into the cheese business. Maybe I can make a meager living making meager cheese.


OUT

It's everywhere

Things have quieted down a little. Friday is most unproductive day of the week in Aruba…at least in the refinery. Everyone is acting like nothing is going on and gallows humor prevails. Believe it or not, the most common phrase I'm hearing here on “Mahogany Row” (the nickname for the executive wing where we all are) is, well,… “We’re f_ _ _ ed!” That’s the mantra that men and women are both using when anyone speculates about the immediate future…followed by a big laugh by everyone in hearing range. But I ain't laughin’. They’ve changed their minds about “business as usual” for projects. Everything will have to be re-justified at a series of meetings that start Monday morning. (Glad the boss is going to be here to fade that heat).

I do know that the intensity to work, work, work has been blunted a little while my project is crumbling while I watch. This is probably the end. When I leave next Saturday, I probably won’t come back…unless PetroBraz buys the place and they jump start our projects. The worst part is that we have a big project coming up in Saudi Arabia. Worst case would be that one landing in my lap. Traveling back and forth and spending weeks in Saudi could even be a deal breaker for me. (My, I get pessimistic quickly, don’t I).

The political situation is quietly tense. Drove by the cruise ship harbor this morning and there are naval frigates docked right behind the giant cruise ships. Can’t tell where they are from because they aren’t flying any flags (is that normal?). When they bring them around to the refinery docks, I'm going to get a little antsy. Meanwhile, one of my best friends told me it’s time to get a “bug-out bag” going. That idea, plus the fact that we were told by the refinery to be ready to leave at any time, made me take it seriously. I'll live out of my suitcase for the rest of my stay, and keep my passport and itinerary in my pocket. I also exchanged all my florin into dollars. But I do have a small bag with absolute essentials with me all the time in the trunk of my car (laptop, passport, change of clothes, flash drives, paper files, a snack or two, two bottles of water, a couple hundred bucks, etc.). I think I'll start sleeping on the roof of the house with a big signal light handy so I can zero the choppers in when they show up from the aircraft carrier. There really isn't one out there, but I keep looking.

I made my normal grocery store trip today and a guy asked me if I was nervous about being here. I asked him how he knew I was an American contractor to the refinery and he said, “You all look alike. It’s the starched long-sleeved shirt tucked into blue jeans. The shoes give it away, too.” Come to find out, this guy is a Euro who has lived here for about 10 years. He didn’t look Aruban. Obviously, there are as many Aruban variations as there are with Americans except the Arubans that go back many generations. The multi-generational Aruban women are short, big-breasted, and round-bellied. The men are darker, short, and very stocky…almost swarthy.

Oh, and Chavez down in Venezuela is having a blast (no pun) with this. He’s talking about all the Aruban government has to do is kick the American capitalists out and he’ll take the refinery off their hands. I don’t think socialism or communism will go over too well here. You know what they say the difference is…with socialism, the government takes both of your cows and gives the milk away to your neighbors. Communists don’t really take the cows but they make you sell the milk to the government at a fixed break even cost (low enough for the government to re-sell it at a profit) and require a daily quota from you. If you don’t make quota, they take the cows and feed the to your neigbors and double your quota.

I can’t wait for next week. No one could write this is in a script…but I might after I get home.

OUT

The Thot Plickens...

Every day, new drama...the Company announced this morning that they are going to shutdown the refinery. The qualifier is that it is supposed to be only for the summer (till October…allegedly). At that time, they’ll evaluate the economics to see if they should start back up or just lock the gates and walk away. But, up to the October “drop dead” date, everyone will keep their jobs and our project (and others) will continue. The savings comes from not buying raw materials, utilities, maintenance costs, etc.

Now keep in mind that this is the only refinery in Aruba and it supports thousands of families and uncountable businesses. Permanently shutting this refinery down would have a devastating impact on the economy. It would affect this country to the extent of, say, shutting down all the refineries and chemical plants in either Galveston or Brazoria counties.

Here is the cold-blooded part. I’m on my way to lunch after the announcement has gone public, and I tune into the government radio station. I should also tell you that there is great resentment toward people who are not Aruban (especially Americans) that work in the refinery because, in theory, they are taking Aruban jobs.

So here is some high-ranking government official (Deputy Minister of something…should be Propaganda) saying “Now is the time for all American contractors to get the hell out of Aruba and take Valero with them. Let PetroBraz or PetroChina have the refinery. There are 102 American professionals in that refinery and they should all leave today”. This is a government official essentially kicking Americans out of the country on the freakin’ radio.

I immediately started flashing back to Saigon in 1975 or ’76 or whenever it was with all those people swarming onto helicopters from the roof of the embassy with the Viet Cong overtaking the city behind them. I asked the other people in the car where the embassy was because “I’m going to climb up on the roof and wait for the helicopters.” They didn’t get the homage but they got a laugh out of it anyway. I don’t know…I think I may be too delicate to make a good hostage.

But, the plan is for us to carry on with business as usual. Damn, I was hoping I'd get kicked out today. While they were making the announcement, I was scrolling through my cell phone directory looking for my travel agent to have her send a chopper or something.

Oh...and I talked to my wife, my daughter, and one of my best friends on the phone earlier. But only one of them asked if I was safe...(you know who you are). What's that about?

At some point during the day I had this thought that I wished the refinery was in Curacao where they at least have a really tall bridge.

OUT

It's always hot in Aruba

Well, I did it. I called for some help. The political and business climate has turned so toxic here (as temporary as it is) that I'm spending more time dealing with all the stuff swirling around me that I'm struggling to get my job done and meet some hard deadlines. So I called the president of our company and told him someone needs to come deal with the lawyers and the immigration issues and the things that have me running the streets while I should be at my desk. I have also found out that there is more corruption here than I assumed. Lots of people know things that they can only find out through nefarious means.

Truth be told, he’s happy to jump into the fray from here rather than from Clear Lake. The savings in our collective cell phone bills ought to pay for the plane ticket. So, he’s coming in Sunday and I’m lining up meetings, dinners, and “clandestine” lunches. It’s unbelievable that we have to be careful who we are seen with at lunch or dinner so we have to carefully pick the venues. On the other hand, some people we almost need to be seen with, but with others we should probably wear disguises…which is ok because they need to wear a disguise, too. Aren’t we all adults here?
I really hope that I don’t have to be present for all those dinners and lunches because the food here…well…it sucks. I've been to the highest end restaurants and the food is just ok there. Even Ruth’s Chris at the Marriott is just ok. Not what you would expect (or receive) in the States. The best food I've had here was a steak chalupa at Taco Bell in Oranjestad….no kidding. But, it had flavor. I mean, the food here isn't bad, it’s just bland.

I normally have sandwiches at lunch time, which is just fine, and I cook my own dinner. BTW…beef here is pretty cheap. I can get tenderloin (the cut for filet mignon, chateaubriand, etc.) for about 25 florin per kilo or $6.50 or $7.00 a pound…about 1/3 of what I pay for it at home. Veal is about the same. So when I cook, I eat good stuff. Surprisingly, tho, fish is not bargain unless you buy it from some dude off his boat, but the flies are a little offputting…that and the general lack of ice.
Another subject…theft here is a big problem. Violent crime is almost non-existent here but theft is rampant. Anyway, while we were in a marathon meeting yesterday, one of the guys who is working very closely with me got a cell phone call (we were all, of course, very appropriately showing our indignation that he would take a personal call in that setting) from his wife. They had been burglarized at home. Everything the burglars didn’t take, they broke. He said on the phone this morning that they even kicked doors off the frames, cut furniture, just destroyed what they didn’t take.

This is a pretty dang small island (it’s only 70 square miles; Brazoria County, where I live, is 1800 square miles) with all 90,000 people living on the west coast (about a tenth of the island…the rest is uninhabited ‘outback’). The point being that it would be hard to sell something that you stole without causing someone to notice. Good luck, guys…the federales are always close here. There is a very imposing prison out there in the Aruban outback. (I think I have a picture of it.)

Like I always say…the smokier you drink, the player you get. (I’ll bring an iggy home to the first person who can tell me where I got that quote.)

OUT

Slow Weekend so far, and Few Prospects for the Rest of it

Sometimes I can’t get over the ineptitude that is just business as usual with these people in the refinery. I’ve been chasing a couple of purchase orders this past week. It’s amazing the circles I've been running in. Every one tells me a different story about the PO status and none of them are right. How do they get anything done?

Oh well…

Went to a flea market Saturday on the way to the grocery store. Arubans take their flea markets seriously…as in everything is very expensive. And they give you the price in dollars and then convert to florin in hopes that you don’t know the math. I bought something from a girl and she said it was $10. I only had florin on me, so I gave her a 25 florin bill. She said “okay, thank you.” I just looked at her for a few seconds until I realized she was serious. So I reminded her that $10 is actually 17.5 florin. By the time I got my change from her (lots of discussion and calculating ensued) I was exhausted and feeling guilty. My impression was that she was trying to wait me out. That may work for tourists, but not this worldwise seasoned international traveler.

Friday, as I was leaving the refinery, the Canadian from across the hall (Alex) called me on my cell phone and said him and a couple guys were on their way to eat “at a Chinese place” and asked me to join them. Of course, I jumped on it. When I got to town, I had to call Alex to find where the restaurant was and he told me to meet him at Wendy’s. So I met him and followed him. We went down some “streets” that are really just paths…just wide enough to drive through. I was almost driving through people’s living rooms These streets went through the poorest neighborhoods I've ever seen. I should have gotten a clue from the route we were taking.

We finally pulled into a shabby little “restaurant” and we went in. Well, it wasn’t really a restaurant. It was what we call a beer joint but in Aruba, it’s called a rum shop. The only thing on the menu was beer, cigarettes, and potato chips. The guys looked at my face and started laughing and said they had to lie because they knew I wouldn’t go to a rum shop with them. So I drank guava nectar and bought them beer and chips till about 8 o’clock when we all called it a night. They all thought it was funny and they enjoyed their free beer.

Yesterday was my grandson Carson’s birthday (he’s 3 years old now) and his mom told him he could go anywhere he wanted for lunch. His answer? “Grandandy’s!” Ya gotta love a kid like that...although I think he settled for Whataburger.

The internet access has been practically non-existent this week. When I do get online, it drops off about every 10 minutes. Kinda hard to conduct any business like that. I’ve actually been writing messages in MSWord and when I get online, I cut and paste them in the bodies of emails as fast as I can.

You gotta be flexible living on this rock…

OUT

Mangoes and Houseplants

I think I've found a way to make a meager living here. I was going into the GOB [General Office Building] yesterday and there were two guys struggling with this big ol' house plant in the front door. That plant was in bad shape. It had more dead leaves than live ones so I assumed they were going out with it to go throw it in the Caribbean.

I was wrong. They were bringing that thing in. And on top of that they beat it up bringing it thru the door. I started noticing the plants in the lobby, upstairs on the landing, in the hallways, and in people's offices. They were all in terrible shape.

So I got an idea. In the States there are businesses that lease plants to buildings, businesses, etc. I'm going to make a leap of faith and assume that there aren't any plant leasers on this rock. So all I have to do is find a couple hundred perfect, large houseplants, get some lease contracts for them, distribute them all over the island, and then maintain them...

Wait a minute...let's see. If I could even find a couple hundred really nice plants they would cost me twice much as they would at home. Plus no one would lease a plant here...it does sound a little unnecessary and these folks squeeze every florin. And maintaining all those plants would be a hassle.

So much for that business plan. It don't look so good when you write it down.

Any way, another topic...yesterday one of the guys had a couple of beautiful mangoes at lunch. I asked him where he got them because you can't get good fruit here [accept bananas]...especially stone fruit. It's all been refrigerated for a long time on the way down here and they don't ripen. They go from cold and half ripe in the "produce" aisle to brown and depressing overnight. But this dude grows them in his yard. He said they're laying all over the ground because he can't eat them all. AAAAHHHHH!!!! I love mangoes. So he brought me 5 of them this morning. They're a work of art...tree-ripened, organic mangoes. I'm getting verklempt.

One last thing...a lot of people ask me about how these folks handle the Natalie Holloway thing. Today at lunch someone (an Aruban) brought it up out of the blue. What I found out is that they believe it's a 5.7 million dollar scam by her mom!!! Of course there are more holes in the theory than swiss cheese but many people believe it.

I don't know, I guess that makes as much sense as many other theories.

God save the Queen [they have one, ya know...she's the Queen of the Netherlands].

OUT

A Surreal Moment at Wendy's and other Gastronomy

Well…I haven’t had the internet on this damned rock since Friday. Wasn’t able to do much online work or communication all weekend but managed to get some things done from the ol’ flash drive. But the internet is back again.

Thought I’d share a classic event that happened to me Saturday morning. I went to town for some coffee (Wendy’s). As I was standing inside I noticed a couple of “local” teenage girls trying to unlock their car with a coat hangar on the driver’s side. About the time I got my coffee, I noticed that a couple of men were standing there and trying to help out. (BTW, my car was parked next to the locked car).

So I stroll out of Wendy’s and the 4 people trying to open the car had torn up a lot of weather stripping and were more than a little stressed because they weren’t making any progress. I walk over to my car and start to get in and noticed something…the passenger side window was DOWN about six inches. It took a minute to register on me (I was already in the car before I realized what I was seeing).

So I just step out of my car, reach in the window and unlock the car. Went it went “thunk” every one froze for a second and looked at me. I said, “this, uh, window is down and it looks like it may rain in Aruba today. Might want to roll it up when you get that door unlocked.” I got in my car and drove off. When I looked in the mirror, they were still just standing around looking at each other. Not sure if they even quit trying to unlock the driver’s side door.

Some gastronomic observations:

1-Arubans like their cookies. Every meeting, class, gathering, at the refinery is accompanied by piles of cookies and they all eat them. However, they have some awesome cookies. They’re all imported from Holland and those Aryans are evidently real good at making cookies.

2-If you go to a meeting in the refinery where lunch is brought in, it’s Subway…always. Last rotation here, I went to 4 meetings in a row where lunch was brought in. It was Subway or starve. Never anything else. It was free food but that’s all it was…free.

3-They also like their fruit drinks. I’ve noticed that when you go out to eat that the people here drink pineapple juice, grape soda, guava nectar, etc. with their meals. Where we drink tea or water or wine, they drink their fruit drinks. And the cool part is that the restaurants all have the stuff.

4-And could someone give the chefs on the island some freakin’ SALT!!!


OUT

Politics, politics, politics...

This place has gone crazy. There is a shake up at the very top of the organization and people are lining up and choosing sides. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting there fat, dumb, and happy thinking all is well...until I went to lunch with the "wrong" person. Didn't even know it was the "wrong" person until one of the Directors sent me an email to come see him. I scurried down the hall and he told me that the person I went to lunch with is on the way out and if I [our company] want to survive here, I [we] should align myself with the good ol' boys down the hall. Hell, I didn't even know I was aligned. Not even sure if I know how to get aligned.

It's the Americans, as it turns out, who are running around trying to pick the winning side. I would love to just sit and watch but I may have to grab a coat tail. Looks like I'll be entertaining this weekend.

Enough of that...the 3rd thing I've found out about Aruba is that they can get covered up with sand from the Sahara Desert. For the last couple of days, every thing is coated with this kinda gold looking dust. People are telling me it's Saharan sand. Go figure. But it's not a bad thing. There's plenty of dust over there and this freakin' rock could use a little topsoil.

And finally...I picked up a hitchhiker a while ago. I know, I know...but the location, his appearance, and the fact that he had two bags of groceries led me to believe he would be all right. And he was.

God save the Queen...and my ass.

OUT

Aruba again...with a side trip to NOLA

Well, I'm back in Aruba again. And the project has totally changed, at least my role in it. I’m now working on transition to refinery employees. That was scheduled for late fall but we’ve moved that up. The plan is that I will have to travel less if I can get the refinery people up to speed now so they can do some of the work now instead of waiting till next year.
I also won’t be making those grueling presentations to the population. I told the refinery leadership in the beginning that they shouldn’t put an outsider up there in front of their employees to tell them how they have to change the way they do their business. But the fact that they let me deliver the news anyway is so typically Aruban (feckless, non-confrontational, etc.). But now I'm freed up to do some of the higher level things that are languishing because I was spending too much of my time while I'm here in front of people.
Anyway, I have to say that I’ve been to the mountaintop. For the first time, I upgraded to first class (my mileage let me do it for $150) for the trip down here. It’s an amazing difference. I could have flown to China and been all right with it.

I spent a week in New Orleans right after I got home last time. It was a good mini-project that I finished in about 75 hours (half the work was done at the office and at home). Ate a LOT of crawfish…peak of the season, priced right, available everywhere.
And I have to confess something…I made my first trip to a strip club. I had never been to one and didn’t even know I was going into it until I was there. We (a couple of guys working on the project and me) went to Bourbon St. and went into some blues and some jazz clubs. Every one of them had a one or two drink minimum so when they came around telling us to drink or leave, we left and went to the next one. The problem was that you really couldn’t tell what one club was from the sidewalk. The sidewalk was covered and the signs were on top of the cover. All we did was go door to door. Any way, one of the guys said “You’re gonna see something in here,” and we went in to this non-descript joint. I should’ve gotten suspicious when they actually carded all of us. Then we walked through a door and I looked up and there were 2 girls dancing on the stage…naked except for a g-string. It was more than a little sad. None of them was over 25 years old and getting a pretty rough start in life. It’s amazing what those girls will do for a couple of bucks…and it’s amazing what some guys will pay a few bucks for. I gotta admit that those girls were pretty athletic. They could climb 20 feet up those brass poles upside down and naked and go through three different dance moves on the way down…gotta appreciate that athleticism.
One girl, about 20 years old, came and sat beside me and tried to make small talk. After a few minutes, I looked at her and said “You need to know that I have 3 daughters older than you and $12 in my pocket.” That was it. She scurried back to the bar.
The creepy part was the bouncers. They kept coming up to the table and saying that they could get us anything we wanted…anything. Then they just stood there and waited for us to ask for, well, anything. None of us asked, but I don’t think they were talking about foie gras with truffle oil…I’m just saying.
When we left, I walked out into the street and looked up at the sign to see what this joint was called. The sign said “Hustler’s Barely Legal”. Alas, my cherry was popped.

Some Good News

...just got off the phone with the boss. My Friday trip has been delayed till Tuesday Apr. 21. He said not to even bother to come into the office [I'm going home Thursday] until I get back from New Orleans. So, I have Friday and Monday off and the boss and me will meet up in NOLA Tuesday.

I'm attaching a pic of my neighbor's backyard where I was yesterday with the Dutch Marines. He lives on the next street...the street between my house and the beach. That back gate that you can barely see on the left opens to a stairway that hugs about a 20-foot cliff down to the beach.

And speaking of streets, I thought I found my garbage iguana [on the street in front of my house] although this is too small. Plus he was real green when he came out of the garbage can but I'm not sure if they change colors. This one is gray.

OUT

Tidbits...

I thought about doing the "3rd thing I've learned about Aruba" but I'm not in the mood to develop anything...so I'm going to do a few short subjects about things that are on my alleged mind...most of them are just gripes...
1-The people in the grocery stores don't know how to handle bread. They just crush it when they pick it up and then throw a bunch of stuff on top of it. Haven't brought one home yet that wasn't mauled.

2-Going home Thursday but I have to change planes in Miami and Dallas. I can go thru Atlanta and change once but I won't get home until 10 p.m. No one in my family likes me enuff to lose that much sleep and pick me up at that time of night.

3-I've noticed four types of Chevrolets on this rock that you won't see in the States...the Corsa, the Optica, the Spark, and the Epica. None of 'em are any bigger than a Jetta or a say a Sentra.

4-Lots of local wildlife around this weekend...since the burro ran over me. I went out the other night to take out my trash right at dusk and there was a huge iguana in the garbage can who was not pleased when I threw that sack on him. Musta been 16 feet long...well, okay, maybe 4 feet, but he was the biggest one I've seen here.


Last night I went outside and a crab was ready to fight me on the front step. Maybe I should quit feeding the lizards out there. They eat all the veggie scraps but will fight over a banana. I really don't know how many types of lizards are out there. But the iggys are the biggest. There's one pretty big type that is an irridescent blue. Really pretty.
5-I would give my left, uh, leg for some decent milk. All the milk here tastes weird. You buy it off the shelf...almost none is refrigerated when you buy it. It's pretty bad.
6-There a lot of street legal 4-wheelers [ATVs] on the streets and even the highway. I'd like to have one. Some of them are really tricked out.
7-Gotta be in New Orleans Friday for a meeting with a new client. The boss wanted me to just stop in New Orleans on the way home Thursday. I told him that I can't be positive where I'm going to be Friday but I know without a doubt where I'm going to sleep Thursday night. Of course, he's in Bahrain and can't exactly influence me much from there. The worse he can do is fire me. The last time I looked, they don't eat people for having different priorities than the boss.

8-There is a contingent of Dutch Marines on this rock. I just came back from a friend's house down the street where two of them are there who just got in (Thursday) from the jungles of Surinam where they just spent 6 weeks literally living off the land in a survival exercise. They are still a little intense. One of them was thinking of a way to eat a lizard that he caught in the yard. I thought he was going to eat it raw. I left.

OUT

The Fourth Thing I've Learned About Aruba...

Even the seedy places have pretty good food...

Went with three other ex-pats (expatriates) from the "neighborhood" to a place in San Nicholas. One of the guys has been here for a long time so he knows of a lot more places than I do. He'll also go IN places I wouldn't normally go into. He drove to a pretty dark part of town where there are several really friendly women just hanging out on the "sidewalks". I guess those girls must just be bored with the club they all hang out in (it kinda looks like a club from outside) so they stand around outside and start conversations with people walking by...I guess.

So this cafe (La Paradilla) is on top of a rather seedy building a couple of doors down from that club. We went in a door and there were stairs up to roof. The cafe occupies the roof and it reminded me of the place where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid met their Maker at the end of the movie.

We had a table that gave us a view of the street. I saw a couple of those bored women talk to some men and invite them into the club. (Maybe those girls are in marketing). There is a second story on that club that we could see into. I was a little confused by what was going on in there. Must be a wrestling school or something. Couldn't see too clearly because the lighting was bad.

But I digress...

So we sit down at one of the homemade tables with homemade chairs and a young pregnant girl comes up with a menu written in the local popiamento. So Rick, the guy from Louisiana who has lived here for a while, orders something in popiamento and they all order beer...I got bottled water because someone needs to drive home.

A few minutes later all the employees in the place show up with a huge platter of grilled meats and corn on the cob (flank steak, chicken breast, shrimp, pork ribs, sausage, and something else that was part of an animal). They also had some potatoes, arepas (a flat bread) with lots of white cheese, yucca root, some sort of pancake made of plantains mixed with other veggies, and a cole slaw like cabbage dish they called a salad.

So we just started eating family style. Everything I took a bite of (including the unknown animal) was better than the last bite. They also brought some salsas and chimichurris that were excellent (albeit a little warmish...one in particular made of cucumbers, jalapenos, and onions).

We literally sat there and ate and told refinery stories for 2 hours. It was great. And I'm still okay. I actually found the place this afternoon in the daylight and took pictures from the street.

I also found out that the club is called Club Monaco...and some of those girls were still standing around outside today. You'd think that if a club was that boring that it wouldn't be very popular but it appears to be. I saw a lot of ex-pats coming and going last night.

I wonder why all those women just don't go home.

OUT

Four Days

Well, it's a 4-day holiday here on the island and I'm stuck here until April 16. But, some of the other Americans and Canadians here are doing some things and they have invited me. On top of that when I started whining to my boss in the refinery about languishing for 4 days, she gave me enuff work to keep me occupied...D-OH!!!!

There is a vacant "lot" behind my bungelow that slopes severely down to a street. It's heavily packed with briars, cactus, and all manner of stuff that keeps explorers out. A couple of days ago, I was driving down the street back there and right directly behind my house was a dead boa constrictor. I'm generally not afraid of snakes but this was the biggest snake I've ever seen outside of a cage...probably 823 feet long. ok, maybe 8 feet.

Speaking of wildlife, I was heading to town this morning and I saw 5 wild burros trotting parallel with the road...and there's a lot of traffic because it's the road to the beach and this is a big beach weekend in Aruba. Any way, the road has a curve and the burros get to it a little ahead of me and the cross the road at the curve. All I had to do was slow to a crawl to let them by but a car coming the other way had to stop. So I keep my eye on the burros because I'm still slow-rolling. The burros are still trotting after they clear the road and I'm watching them and I suddenly realize there only 4 of them. A quick math calculation and I realize that one has not crossed yet. I'm still rolling and I see it out of the corner of my eye...and then I felt it. That burro collided with my rent car right at the left front tire. There wasn't any damage but if I had hit him instead of the other way around I probably would have been calling for my third rent car for this trip.

While I was looking at the car I noticed something odd about my license plate...it has a piece of another license plate attached over the top of the original. Oddly enough, the small piece is the part the has "2009" stamped into it (and the "V" that identifies it as a rental car and, of course, me as a foreigner). The part under it has an "A" with 2008. (The "A", of course, stand for "Aruba"). I'm trying to decide if I'm worried about that.

Actually considering running down the street to the beach. A bunch of Canadians dropped by and invited me. I know my chicken legs aren't any whiter than those Canadians so I'll probably do it...

OUT

I Got Kicked out of Aruba

Yep. I got kicked out of Aruba... and boy was it a trip.

I had to apply for an extension till April 16 since my original plan was to leave on April 10. Somewhere in that process [I hesitate to give the details in this forum], I was "asked" to leave the country until some "things" get straightened out with my visa. After some negotiations on my behalf [i don't really know who did what to whom with which or where], it was decided that if I leave the country and come back in, I can sort of reset the clock by re-submitting my immigration papers on entry. So I went to the next island...Curacao [koo-rah-sow, like a girl pig] for the day and came back that evening.

The trip was an experience. For most of the day I sat in an outdoor coffee shop in the hotel district and read a book. I walked around a little and took a few pictures [nothing worth showing].

But the highlight was when I went to a casino. It was a DIVE. It reminded me of one of the casinos in the Chevy Chase movie, Las Vegas Vacation, where they were betting on all kinds of things like Rock, Paper, Scissors and things like that. The security guy [this is no joke] wore and old plaid western shirt with the word "SECURITY" on the back with misaligned iron-on letters. The felt on the blackjack tables was completely worn thru where the dealer plays. There were only 4 tables counting the single roulette wheel. The bathroom was so small that you had to turn sideways to get past the sink and urinals.

When it opened at 10 a.m., there were about 20 locals waiting at the door to play the slots. The whole thing reminded me of one of those semi-legal 8-liner "game rooms" in Alvin.

Any way, at about 3:30, I grabbed a taxi to get to the airport. It was an old mini-van that hadn't been vaccumed or cleaned up in years, and there was no headliner and. Now get this...I sat in the second row seats that had two captain's chairs. When we went around the first corner, the seat tipped because it wasn't bolted down!! So I moved to the next seat and it didn't have a seat belt and was loose but at least bolted down. On top of that, the van kept dying on us. He must have restarted that thing half a dozen times while driving about 70 around blind curves. But we got to the airport.

When I checked in, they said we would leave at "about" 5:00 from gate 6 or 7. Kinda loose arrangements. At about 4:15 I hear this loud announcement paging "Des-hom Ramon" or something like that to report to Gate 8. Didn't pay much attention. Heard that announcement 3 more times. However, when they said "Last call..." I heard them mention my flight number and "Aruba". It suddenly occured to me that they saying my name, only backwards [my passport uses my real first name-"Raymond"]. I jumped up and showed 'em my passport and they said to hurry because "the plane is going to leave without you." No, no, no, no, no!!!

So I get escorted across the tarmac to the plane [a 17-seat prop number] for the 20 minute flight back to Aruba. That morning, coming over, there were only 3 people on that plane. Going back, I'm number 17...it was packed...literally. It was full of huge Aruban guys who actually spilled over into both sides of the aisle because the seats were so small.

Right before we start to taxi, the co-pilot turns around in his seat to give the announcements. It goes like this "Life preservers are under seats, emergency exits over wings. Okay? We go, now."

They didn't turn on the air conditioning until after the take off because we were so loaded they needed the power. But first, we had to wait on the tarmac for about 30 minutes. Let me just say that the air in that plane was plenty thick and damp by the time we got to 2000 ft.

The flight was uneventful, thankfully, until we started to land. The plane was just getting hammered by cross-winds and was really jostling us around [at least those seats were bolted down]. All of a sudden, the biggest guy on the plane [and that's saying something] starts freaking out and tries to get up...to go somewhere...not sure where!! His buddies get him to sit down just in time to hear a LOUD alarm from the cockpit. I could see thru the windshield that we were about on the ground so I figured it was gonna be okay. Never did find out what the alarm was because it stopped by the time we stopped rolling. I'm thinking fuel...

To top all that off, I get to my car and it won't start...dead as a hammer. Fortunately, I'm parked right outside the Budget kiosk so I go inside and get a new car. In my haste, I forgot to get my parking ticket out of the old one so I can't get out of the parking lot.

Now here's the deal...THEY TOLD ME THE CODE TO PUNCH IN TO GET THE ARM TO COME UP. I'm going to share it with you so that any time you're in the Aruba Airport parking lot all you have to do is punch in 2354 at the exit. Then you can get free parking!!! Don't bother to thank me. I'm just paying it forward.

OUT

AAHHHHHH............

I just got cooked in San Nicholas. I was in a grocery store and they actually had BLUE BELL NEOPOLITAN ice cream!!!!

I grabbed it up and when I got to the counter I started talking to a guy from the refinery. When it came my turn I handed the clerk a $20 bill U.S. and kept right on talking. I took my change in florin [the local currency] and stuffed it in my pocket with the receipt.

I got home and looked at the receipt and discovered that I paid $21.75 florin...that's $12.43 U.S.!!!! I am going eat the dang carton after the ice cream is gone. That'll use up a per diem in a hurry.

The only positive that could come out of this is that Paula won't have any room to gripe about Blue Bell at home when it costs $5.79. I can always beat that now.

The 5th thing I learned about Aruba is that you should ALWAYS check expiration dates on frozen foods. The Blue Bell was Feb, 2010. The last time I was here, I bought two frozen dinners that expired in 2008 and some other ice cream that expired in late 2007 because I didn't check the dates.

I ate 'em anyway. The center part of the ice cream was good but the outside 1/2 inch or so was a little gamey.

Live and learn. I'm gonna go have some ice cream...and I'm having all three flavors of the neopolitan.



OUT

I'm still alive and well...

No I didn't get carried off by a UFO or run away from home. I just haven't had a chance to update. The past week flew by in blur of barely making deadlines. I've said it before but I think it bares repeating...I forgot how fast things move when you have an office in the Administration Bldg. in a plant/refinery...plus, at that level, you can cut the politics with a knife.

I showed up at the refinery early Monday morning. When the boss got there, she sort of walked in and announced in the hall "5 minutes in my office." We all gathered and she took off on what she wanted and the deadlines started stacking up...and most of them were mine or depended on me to get something accomplished. But we slogged thru it and all is right with world.

Yesterday, I went to Oranjestad and walked around the marina and meandered into the casino. There was barely anyone inside. Just a bunch of dealers standing around looking ready to play. I counted 4 blackjack players. I planned to play the $5 tables but they were all $10 and up. I did enjoy watching 2 Chinese women just flog a dealer at the $25 table. They had a great time and it was fun watching. One of the women sat down right when I got there and started with 3 chips. When she left, she must have had close to a hundred $25 chips. She did good. As soon as the casino moved in a new dealer, the ladies moved out.

THE SIXTH THING I'VE FOUND OUT ABOUT ARUBA...while looking for a place to park near the casino, it came to me that parking "spots" are merely a suggestion in Aruba. I've seen it a lot. Basically, you can park anywhere you want as long as it's close to a parking space (see first photo). A lot of times people park on the sidewalk. Of course, sometimes the "city" needs to dig a trench...(red car). That trench is literally about 2 miles long. Don't know how that car is going to get off the sidewalk...much less onto the street.

Went to the drag races last night. They have a real big international meet here every year. It lasted 4 days and last night was the finals...a good show.

But there was something there I've never seen. There were kids driving little mini-dragsters. The ran for an 1/8 mile and had some of the loudest cars there. Most of them ran the 1/8 mile in 10 or 12 seconds. Not sure what that translates to but it ain't bad for a 10 or 12 year old kid. Took a picture of an 11-year-old girl getting ready to race.

OUT

...back to the grindstone

Landed in Aruba about 4:00 pm. They actually ran out of food on the plane. I wound up eating a pack of Pringles. Other than a muffin in Atlanta that was all I literally had to eat all day. I was ready to eat roadkill by the time I got to Aruba. I saw a sign about Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and it hit home so I drove directly to it and had the best meal I've had in months...love me some steak.

National Car Rental burned me for $63 for 5.5 gallons of gas the last time I was here. So I went to their counter and very calmly asked them to change it to the going rate [about $20]. I explained to them that in the next year I'll spend $10,000-12,000 on car rental and if they want that business they'll do what makes sense and credit me 40 or so dollars. But, no one had the authority. I left them my card and told them to have some one who has the authority to call me. I'm actually enjoying playing this game. I really don't care where I rent a car from.

The 7th thing I've learned about Aruba
No matter what restaurant or burger joint you go into, they are s l o w. Even Ruth's Chris took more than 30 minutes to cook a filet to medium rare. Add surly clerks in almost every store and it becomes apparent that customer service is a secondary consideration.

...oh, and I found out today that a Toyota Yaris has a WHOLE lot more power than a Kia Rio.

Lots of work to do in the next 3 or 4 weeks...the quicker I get finished the quicker I go home.

OUT

The 8th Thing I Learned about Aruba...

They never give correct change. If your change requires a few pennies you don't get them. Then it occurred to me that they don't have pennies. The lowest denomination of coins is 5 cents (I think that's what they call florin "cents"). They also don't have bills smaller than 10 florin. They use coins for 1 florin and 5 florin.

Going back Sunday. MUCH less trepidation this time. I'm actually starting to get a little pumped up because I have a million things to do in about a 4 week timespan and I want to get started. One of the other guys from the office is probably going to come down in a couple of weeks to start a new project...a BIG one. So I'll have some company in that big ol' house for a while.

Oh...I did my expense report the other day and noticed that the rental agency (National) had to put 5.5 gallons of gas in the rent car. They charged me 63 freakin' dollars...US dollars, not florin. I didn't even notice until I did the report. I've got to be more diligent in getting gas in the car before I take it back. The client is going to freak when I give them that little pearl.

OUT

Finally...

I finally got the internet working at home. Not that I did anything but whine, but it works. This is literally the third time I've attempted to update this here blog but I've crashed every time before I could get it done.

I had planned to take a couple of days off with spring break to just hang out and do whatever the kids feel like...an annual thing for me. However, Monday I went in to the office to meet with the boss. We haven't talked in-depth about business for weeks because we've both been traveling. We talked for a couple of hours and he sent me home.

BTW-the 9th thing I found out about Aruba is that you always check the expiration date on frozen food. That occurred to me in Kroger yesterday. I was checking the dates on everything I looked at. In Aruba, before I caught on, almost every thing I bought frozen was outdated...even some Hagen-Daz [sp?]. I serendiptiously [i love that word] came across that 411 while taking out the trash.

Got a cool picture of Luke [youngest grandson]. When I saw it, the caption came to me instantly..."Warm outside...warm yesterday, too...need some rain."

Heading back to Aruba Sunday until Good Friday.

OUT

Going Home for a Couple of Weeks

Leaving in the morning for home for a couple of weeks. I just want some coffee. The coffee here is instant and in 6-oz. cups. All of it is from a machine [Wendy's, restaurants, the refinery, etc.]...put a little bitty cup under the spigot, hit a button, and "coffee" drops out in one 6-oz drop. Have not seen a coffee bean or ground coffee since I landed more than 3 weeks ago...that is no exaggeration. Starbucks looms in Atlanta at 12:42 tomorrow. Oh, and if you like a little dairy in your coffee, it's evaporated milk. Every coffee bar in the refinery has a can that has been opened and sitting out on the counter for...well who really knows.

I've learned a lot. Too tired right now and too much laundry and packing to do, any way. I think I'll start a 10 things I learned about Aruba.

#10-There are no trains here. Lots of big ol' ships but no trains. That fact didn't occur to me till today. So I asked some people and they confirmed it. No 18-wheelers either. At least I haven't seen one.

#9-I'll think of it later.

OUT

...even greater

It would appear that no one told the people in my 7 a.m. class to come to a 7 a.m. class so I was off the no-voice-having hook.

I'm gonna get me one of these Carribean islands.

OUT

This is just great...

I lost my voice last night and I have to go teach a 2-hour class in about 5 minutes. I'm going to need an interpreter to translate American Sign Language to papiamento.

Home for a couple of weeks on Saturday.

Up and down weekend

A friend told me last week to take some time off so I did just that Saturday. Went to Oranjestad, the biggest city on the island [i suppose] where they do the whole tourist thing...marinas, casinos, very high level shopping, nice restaurants...and walked around thru all those places for the whole afternoon. Had some grilled grouper and came home.

Sunday morning, I walked down to "Baby Beach" [i don't know why they call it that] and then went to Wendy's. Then came to the office to check my email [no wi-fi at home yet]. The first email was some sketchy details about a friend who died suddenly Saturday night so I worked the phones a little until I got the scoop. I've known her a long time [30+ years] and I've been a little melancholy since. She has a BIG extended family and two grown kids that I've watched grow up. The whole thing touched a lot of people I know and I'm not particularly comfortable being here while all that is happening...not could do anything.

Late Sunday I started feeling a little queasy and today I'm just sick. Dragged my ass to the refinery anyway and the guys assured me that I didn't eat anything foul, or drink bad water, because there's a bug running thru the refinery. That made me feel a lot better.

BTW-the water here is safe. It's desalinated sea water and is highly processed [tho my only exposure to it is in ice...I'm drinking bottled].

OUT

A Big Week in Aruba

This "assignment" I have here in Aruba has been developing as the days go by. I have been working with this client since last year to help them get their operations up to OSHA standards [that's it in a nutshell...the details would bore anybody but me. I, however, find them, uh, titillating].


As a matter of setting the groundwork, the guy that I'm working with here in Aruba, my counterpart, announces he is leaving his Company to take a job in Europe. YIKES. That could have blown up my project. But, instead, his boss gets the idea that they want to outsource his job for a while [6 months to a year] while they mount some sort of search party to find his replacement. So she calls the president of my company and says they want me to be the outsource-ee. After my inital panic attack at that thought I make an agreement with everyone that I'll come down here for 2 or 3 weeks to see if I want to completely nuke my family dynamics for a few months [and to let them see if I fit in]. I'm a home body. I don't like to travel mainly because I'm a big pussy about it. I even get lonely at the deer camp for a couple of days. Fast forward...

One of the things I find out about this job, late in the game, is that I need to be ready to teach a five-day class to a room full of brand new 22-year-old-wet-behind-the-ears-never-seen-a-refinery-fresh-out-of-the-auto-parts-store-wide-eyed-scared-to-death-future operators.

They give me this list of myriad topics that I need to cover. Admittedly, some of them I could do cold, but some of them are going to take some research into not only how they do things here onsite, but also I need to look into Aruba law on some of them. Then I look at the schedule and I see that I'm the first class on the schedule...and it's a 6-month schedule. [these guys are basically going to get all the training in 6 months that we, in the States, give people a two-year Associates degree for]...but I'm the first. I immediately fall into my normal stress relief mode [cussing] but since I don't know any Papiamento [the local language] it falls on deaf ears...literally...because everyone has that "better you than me" smile.

Before I go on, let me make one thing perfectly clear...this is NOT a third world country. These people are smart. They are savvy and well travelled [which makes sense because when you live on an island that is 22 miles long by 8 miles wide you gotta go somewhere on vacation]. Everyone speaks 4 or 5 languages, literally [Papiamento, Spanish, Dutch, English, and many speak French or Italian]. I met a 7-year-old kid last week who has mastered 3 but was a little embarrassed because she thought her English [#4] needed work.

Meanwhile, I'm working to get ready for this class and I'm barely keeping up. I'm literally printing out the next session while the guys are on a 15-minute "bio break". And all this time, the boss is coming in and handing me notes..."can you do a day-long class on this topic next week?" or "we're shifting the schedule and I need you to do this now instead of Friday." But, on reflection, it's pretty much the normal stuff that happens at home with these training endeavors except here I don't know any one and have no idea who my resources are to help me get something done. I can't even get the internet turned on in my bungelow.

Any way, the week is finally over and I can breathe. Did not wake up until 10 a.m. this morning...very late for me. If I did that at home, the kids would be holding a mirror under my nose to see if I was breathing. The outcome is that we have a schedule that has me in country for 5 weeks and home working at World Headquarters in Houston for 3 weeks till Christmas. Sorta makes deer season look a little iffy.

Well I have to go to "town" [if I can find one] and deal with a cell phone issue.

OUT

The Wildlife

One thing that struck me almost immediately in my travels around this rock is that it reminds me a lot of the Texas Hill Country. Of course, when you drive at night in the Hill Country, you have to be constantly vigilant for the deer in the highway. I mentioned to someone that I was really cautious at night here on the island but I needn't be because there are no deer. The other guy said that I still need to be aware of the burros.

Of course I thought he was kidding me [they like to do that here to people like me]. But this morning I became a believer...[see attached]

The Grindstone

I think i fixed the camera...well, it works now any way. It died with the zoom fully extended and on the way to the store to exchange it, I pushed on the lens and held the on/off button down. It came back to life...well, enuff about the camera.

My cell phone SIM card is out of minutes so I went to town to buy another card. Every thing is closed...worse than Sunday. It's a national holiday for Carnaval and they take it real seriously here. But Wendy's, KFC, and Burger King are still hard at it...but packed. The line for the BK drive thru must have had 20 cars in it.

Working against some hard deadlines right now. That's the story of my life...I'm either struggling with a deadline or a budget. I dream of a general services contract where it takes what it takes to get the job done. I don't even know what my metrics are at this point. I think I'll let the client tell me what she thinks they should be.

...just noticed something. There is a tree about 5 feet from my window and doves are flocking into it to roost [it's dusk here]. As I stare at the tree, I've realized there must be 50 birds all hunkered down and fluffed up for the night.

I think that's what I'm going to do...go to the bungelow and hunker down and fluff up.

OUT

Singing in the Halls

Oh, btw...I'm the only one in this office building [two stories, probably 100 offices] and I have been hearing this beautiful soprano voice singing from the lobby. I figured the guard had her radio turned up loud. But as I sat here the voice starting getting louder and was coming down the hall. It was the guard herself...just singing a cappella [sp?].

Carnaval is unbelievably elaborate...very complex floats, costumes, and ENERGY. The parade lasted for more than 4 hours. Afterward the street and sidewalks were covered with debris [beer bottles, water bottles, trash...and a LOT of beads of all shapes, sizes, and colors, flat on one side for gluing to costumes]. This morning it was absolutely spotless.

But my damned camera quit working this morning. I was going to take a picture of a Little League sign written partly in English and partly in popiamento for Cooper [my oldest grandson] who is a big time Little Leaguer. It froze up...paid 265 florin [$151 USD] for it. I'll have to take it back tomorrow p.m. Stores aren't open much around here on Sunday...may try to slip over there this afternoon, tho.

An American in Aruba

So I'm here in Aruba on business at the local refinery. As soon as I walked into the gate I flashed back to the 30 year stint that I worked in a chemical plant outside Alvin (Monsanto, now called Solutia). Walked into the Adminstration Bldg. where all the senior management people work and I could feel the politics of the place crawling up my spine...yada, yada, yada (more on first days here in a later post). That was Monday...today is Saturday.

I'm going to be here for 3 weeks and then I'll go home for a while and come back in April for a LONG run.

But this post is about my American moment in a crowded local grocery store. It's Carnaval time and the the streets are jammed with parades, people, revellers, etc. Has been for 2 days.

It occurred to me that with all the Carnaval activities in town, that getting anywhere is a chore. So this morning I go to the grocery store to get some food to cook [I'm having squid sticks tonight...you know, like fish sticks] so I can hunker down. When I checked out, a boy bagged my groceries and put them in my cart. While I was paying the check, a different kid grabs my groceries and starts walking to the door. Since I don't know how to say "HEY MOTHERF%^&#ER!!!" in popumento [the local language] I said something like "THAT'S MINE!!" [loudly]. The boy stops and looks at me and says, "yes sir...where is your car?"

D-OH!!! Half the people in the store started laughing...and it was crowded. I wanted to grab another bag and put it over my head. [at least I tipped the kid 10 florin ($5.17 USD it appears)].

...my American moment.